I love kissy dogs. I love snuggly dogs. Dog lovers can be divided up into kissers and those who think getting licked on the face by a dog is gross. Dog lovers can be divided up into rescuers and purchasers. The rescuers also need to be rescued. I am a kissy rescuer. Just one problem. Gracie doesn’t kiss. She will air kiss, she will nuzzle me, but she will only lick me after I eat cheese. She tolerates me kissing her, but I know she doesn’t like it.

I’d kiss you back if you weren’t so needy.

I take Gracie to the dog run almost everyday.  I have people friends and canine friends there.  I wave and say hi to the humans, but there are a number of dogs who whine and mob me when I come in. Mickey and Lulu always demand kisses and scruffing up. Gracie is a jealous bitch. She will try to worm her way in-between me and the other pups. When it comes to dogs, I am polyamorous. I can’t get enough love. When it comes to women, I have room only for one. Lucky Donna.

Licking is a submissive gesture for dogs; they learn it from their mothers. As soon as they are born, their mothers lick them to stimulate their breathing. Licking stimulates them to “do their business”. The dam will lick the puppies to clean them and to show affection. My family was not a kissy family. I learned how to kiss in 11th grade when I fell in love with Stella. She was a good kisser. Donna is a terrific kisser. I could tell on the first kiss.

Gracie’s submissive gesture is to roll over and show her belly. When I come home, instead of running to the door to greet me, she stays where she is and gives me a “peel me a grape” look. When I call her, she gets up, stretches her legs, ambles over to me, and then flips over and gives me a “Jamie boy, rub my belly” look. Gracie is a femme. I am a sucker for femmes. I like being seduced. Even by my dog.