According to my mother, who is dead, I’m a failure. Not just because I’m a sodomite. I’m a failure because I never married, never had kids, and didn’t earn a pile of money. Fortunately, my brother Jon hit the trifecta. My mother got grandchildren without my having to lift a finger or wear a skirt.

“hard work is simply the refuge of people who have nothing whatever to do”  – Oscar Wilde

For all her insistence that I act like a girl, she spent her whole life comparing me to my brother. Jon was popular. His report cards were upbeat and full of praise. He had ambition. Why couldn’t I be like him? My elementary school report cards noted that I was not living up to my potential. When I tried to be just like my brother I got in trouble for acting like a boy. 

My mother was surprised when I was accepted into Hunter. Hunter College High School is a public school that admits students based on a competitive entrance exam. It was still an all girls school when I attended. “Hunter girls” were the best and the brightest. They were supposed to make their mark on the world.  Continue reading →